5K Truthers

So Saturday our little burg held a 5K. 10th annual. And since the BWSS (Beautiful Wife of SoulSlam) is in charge of running it (as well as running in it), so I get roped asked to announce the winners at the end and help out generally. This year I hung out at the finish and made sure ALL runners knew the proper protocol to follow as they finished (basically stay in order and hand the bottom of your race number to the folks for tracking). If you've ever met me you know one thing, I am a loud person. Big voice. When I want to anyway. Saturday I was just that.

So first guy comes in at 15 minutes and then everybody thereafter. Now some people may take a long time to finish. The DFL was probably close to an hour. So after this happens the race times are quantified and certified by an independent race organization. Now the fun starts.

We all assemble at the local community center gym...where there's ample water, bananas and a DJ playing some tunes. And of course, every human has their social media machines so they can stay occupied. But apparently waiting is not in anybody's lexicon of things anymore. Person after person comes up and asks "when we will announce the results?" To which I reply "when I get the numbers". It's 10:30 AM and you juts ran a race...relax superstar.

So results come in and SoulSlam gets down to announcing overall winner, female and male. Ladies first. "Overall top female is blah blah blah from Wayne NJ with a time of 19:44..." and this nice person comes down to inform me that WAS NOT HER TIME, HER TIME WAS XXX. So at that point I say into the mike, OK we're done announcing times. I'm not fighting with these dopes.

Lots (some) of people complaining about this and that and this and that...you are an adult. You will never be a world-class runner. So stop acting like 15 seconds means anything, stupid.