Happy 2014

A Happy New Year to all the townsfolk.

And since I really enjoy this photo, I think you should all get to enjoy it. WHAAAAA!

Boxing Day

Canada has another holiday called Boxing Day today...I think it is just an excuse to get another day off. Those Canucks are like that y'know.

Christmas Day has come and gone but it's still the season. I'm looking to get a Chromecast but don't want to go to any stores that carry it today. Maybe later on.

Anyways, sitting at work trying to look busy. Gotta go.

23

Two days before the big day. The day Christ was born. AKA Christmas.

In the news:

There is an Object in Seattle that they can't figure out

Spacesuits from the 1980's are collecting water, which is a big problem

Phil Robertson is the new pariah for the powerful G-lobby

My basketball team doesn't move enough

CRAZY

Traffic. Shopping. Weather.

4 more days until Christmas.

And FREE PHIL!

Free speech for everyone means everyone, right?

First W

Played Monday evening at our house vs. the defending champs of my main league (NJJBL). This team beat us in semis last year then went on to win league championship. We won BTB championship instead.

So we played four tough quarters...and at the end we had a tie game. So on to OT. Which we pulled out despite ourselves. Yowza.

Now I also have a new philosophy. In the past as 4th, 5th, 6th graders I tried my best to get all the boys some good minutes, no matter what. I actually had some sleepless nights when I couldn't do it, feeling I let somebody down. But this is travel and playing time not guaranteed. As outlined:

Playing time is not guaranteed in travel. We will do our best to get all boys in games. Please know that the following factors effect any decision: practice attendance (tracked), understanding the offensive and defensive plays and formations, game situation at any particular time, attitude and effort.

So missing practices and not learning what we are doing becomes a problem for some. At least I have a clear conscience and can go into season looking ahead.

Tonight we play a team I consider dirty. Whooped 'em last season. We see tonight what has changed.

The Hoops Post #1 (New Season)

So, SoulSlam coaches a group of boys (now 7th grade)...most of boys have been with me since 5th grade, some since 4th. Good group. They have been champs in the travel leagues they play in for the last two years.
Problem is, they aren't growing as players. So I will take that as my fault. Too much standing, not enough moving, rebounding is lame. I'm astonished. Worked on ball and player movement for the last two weeks. And we opened up yesterday.
We stood around. We waited for somebody else to do something. We didn't box out. We played horrible D. We missed a lot of shots. We got pushed around.

Gotta shake some trees at practice tonight. Sorry.

This Blog Is Barren

I have been a bad blogger. I have neglected the peeps in the kingdom with my omnipresent tweeting. I bad.

Now that that is out of my system...

I'm waiting for the Mets to do something. Chris Young is not what I was hoping for.

Cold today. Like Alaska cold.

I was told by my MD that I may be immortal. Time will tell.

Walking Dead is on in exactly 48 minutes (as I type.

My 7th grade basketball team is getting ready to come to your town and lay a can of ass whoopin' on ya.

I have had three (3) paranormal experiences in the last six (6) weeks. No kidding.

The Mets are annoying me.

Cruised down to Maryland with OSSS (Oldest Son of SoulSlam) for a weekend of hitting at Baseball Factory. It was cool.

I am constantly amazed that I can still find songs for my iTunes.

I could use a new pair of headphones.

I am a fan of LeBron James. Deal.

I'm changing brands. Of what? NOYB.

I was in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago. One night. Walked around Busch Stadium.

It took a long time, but I discovered I have no "secret shame" movie.

All Saints

All Saint's Day. Yes!

The Agony Of Today

Me, SoulSlam, I have no agony. Because I am not a Yankee fan.
WORLD SERIES CHAMPS!

Fill In The Blank Night (Redux)

So what did you call it when you were a kid? The night before Halloween I mean...





In my neck of the woods, we called it GATE NIGHT - and people give me a quizzical look when I say that name. And apparently, the yuppies and new citizens of my little slice 'o' heaven in North Jersey have won out because the kids call it GOOSEY NIGHT, which I always found a little fem. But c'est la vie, right?





So I started asking people at work, around town at the Shop-Rite, wherever - "what did you call it oh so long ago?" So here is a list:

GATE NIGHT

GOOSEY NIGHT

MISCHIEF NIGHT

EVILS NIGHT

CABBAGE NIGHT

HELL NIGHT

Let me know if you have a good one. Funny, I had a friend named Flanagan and he called it 'same as every other night - and I still have to get me Da' at the precinct house!'. Poor Flanagan.

And a word to the wise... even though I've grown up, I still play the game tonight. On defense. Like a Jack Lambert, but better looking.

Punctuation

I really like the semi-colon (;). I am also partial to the exclamation point (!).

World Series Seriously

Gotta go with the Boston Red Sox in 6.

LOVE THE BEARDS!

Old E-Mails

I like to save old e-mails that make me laugh. I guess that would make me a hoarder in some ways, holding onto 76kb of text like an old man keeps Pepsi bottles.

Some of my favorites include accusations of Poor Sportmanship, Running up the Score in Rec Basketball and back and forth about the reason why I would get to play both games of a doubleheader at my field (duh).

Good times, good times.

FF Update

Watch this show!

So we start with yesterday...

I get a text around 12:50 or so that I don't see until 12:57. "Megatron is out!". I try to change my WRs, and I am locked out (5 minute rule). I am sunk.

But a funny thing happened on the way to 4-1 (and first place)...the other guy had Vick and a bunch of underperforming backs and ends. HeeHee.

Here's my starters right now:

QB - Rivers
RB - Charles, Gore
WR - Megatron, Welker
Flex - DeSean Jackson
TE - Bennett
K- some guy from Miami
DST - Seahawks
Bench, Kaepernick, Little, Jennings, Danny Thomas, Hartline, Rice, Z. Miller

So you can see I'm pretty stacked. As long as the injuries don't rear their heads like last season.

Endings

Deadspin is one of SoulSlam's favorite sites, WWW-wise. So today they posted a ranking (?) of TV show endings. I took Mr. Joe Macleod's list and added my pVp (personal Viewpoint).

1. The Larry Sanders Show
   Never watched this show. I don't think I had HBO then.
2. The Shield
   Awesome. Vic Mackey for President.
3. Six Feet Under
   NO interest.
4. The Fugitive
   I'm old, I'm not that old.
5. Newhart
   I'm assuming this is the show set in Vermont. It was a great ending.
6. Magnum P.I.
   I thought it was OK. Strangely enough, they actually ended the show twice. The previous season they weren't sure if they would get renewed so they had Magnum walking to Heaven after he was presumed dead.
7. Breaking Bad
   Top 3.
8. Lost
   Exactly. I was Lost with the ending. It was a little too strange, even for me.
9. Seinfeld
   The worst.
10. Cheers
    I think I stopped watching this show by then. Can't remember anything but Sam turning out the lights. It's a bar. Lights off after closing.
11. Twin Peaks
    Great ending that shouldn't have been the end. "Where's Annie?"
12. Star Trek: The Next Generation
    Ummm, never seen an episode. I am not a Trekkie.
13. The Sopranos
    I liked the end. I have an imagination.
14. St. Elsewhere
    Never really watched it but I know how it ended. Whatever happened to Ed Begley Jr.?
15. M*A*S*H
    This show should have ended when Frank Burns left the show. Too maudlin after that.
16. Dinosaurs
    Huh?
17. The Office [UK]
    Never seen. Never will.
18. The Wire
    Great show. Great end. Top 5.
19. Mary Tyler Moore
    I have no idea what happened to Mary.
20. Frasier
    Another show I stopped watching. Frasier and Niles annoyed me.
21. 24
    Isn't this coming back?
22. Coach
    I assume he won a National Championship?
23. The Cosby Show
    The whole family was slaughtered (of, that was my dream).
24. Barney Miller
    I loved this show. Since I was about 12 or 13 though I have no recollection of the end.
25. The Office (US)
    You could move the Office anywhere and I wont watch.
26. Weeds
    No see.
27. ER
    You know what I hated about this show? Every episode was a "very special event". Sucked.
28. Miami Vice
    Great. And I am a huge fan. Don't even start.
29. Macgyver
    I never watched this guy.
30. Dexter
    I had no idea the show was over.
31. Battlestar Galactica (2009)
    I have only seen in reruns. It seemed pretty good.
32. Friends [DID NOT WATCH]
    Me neither.

Damn The Torpedoes

It's on. MLB playoffs. Best time of year, sports-wise. 

Picks for LDS

Dodgers over Braves in 4

Cards over Pirates in 4 (but I'm rooting for Bucs)

Tigers over A's in 5

Red Sox over Rays in 4 

U-Haul Etiquette

Took a little roadtrip on Saturday with the
Sons of SoulSlam...destination: Camden Yards!

Got some tix from a pal at the J-O-B and we was meeting up in the land of Natty Boh. About 200 miles door to door, and it was down and back after game. SoulSlam is a warrior, y'all.

Anyhoo...on to my topic of choice. The ubiquitous U-Haul (and it doesn't have to be theirs...could be a renatl from Budget, Penske, whoever). This is the transport of choice for those with a futon. A way to ship oneself, and the personal belongings of oneself in an efficient manner. Except...

THERE IS ABSOLUTLEY NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULD EVER BE IN THE LEFT LANE!!!!

So I'm guessing a lot of these moving on up folks don't really know where they are going. That's OK. We all are new to something. But...

THERE IS ABSOLUTLEY NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULD EVER BE IN THE LEFT LANE!!!!

I think I've made my point. Orioles won by the way.

Ghosts

I like ghost hunting shows. I'm sure you care.

The Tip Jar (An Incendiary Post)

Dunkin' Donuts. Starbucks. Carvel. Delis. Pizza places. Blah, blah, blah.

Why a tip jar there and not in other places. How come my dry cleaner doesn't have a tip jar? My bank? The place I get my morning paper and coffee? I'll tell you why. Because those right thinking people actually work and understand that their good customer service and hard work is paying off in spades with my business.

These other Tip Jar infested places? They are generally populated with people who don't think that the amount I pay for anything (like $2.50 for a cup of coffee) is enough. I should tip them for the one minute of time they devote to me, often never even looking up past their freakin' nose rings to acknowledge me. Sullen and goth...they leave that tip jar there to antagonize me and guilt the weak into dropping a dollah!

I despise you.

New Post

Lo and behold, a post from SoulSlam!

SoulSlam knows he's been AWOL for about 2 months, with only a couple of nuggets to satisfy the fan in all of you. Lo siento.

It was a tough summer with the passing of my Mom. Not really in the mood to type. Even the twitterati was left wanting, though my thumbs have recently started tweeting again on their own. Stream of consciousness type stuff.

I thank all for their condolences and prayers. I'll try to get back on track.

The Flip-Flop Guy

Though I've been back for a few days now, the House of SoulSlam (minus the dogs)went on a 10 day vacation to the #1 BEACH IN AMERICA, Siesta Key FLA!

Awesome place. Had a great yah-yah time. Boys loved it. My beautiful wife loved it. SoulSlam loved it. I wore flip-flops a lot!

Looking for foreclosures as we speak.

Amish Mafia

Absolutely my new favorite show. Now everytime I go to Lancaster and surrounding area I will be looking for Lebanon Levi, Alvin, Jolin the Mennonite and John.

The Quiet

SoulSlam's blog and twitter feed have been quiet...still not up to the chatter.

Thanks for hangin' in.

The Dilemma of a White T-Shirt

White T-Shirts don't last as long as a (insert your color here) T-Shirt. Fact.

White T-Shirts require bleach. Bleach kills everything sooner or later. It killed Capone.

White T-Shirts get dingy. Even if you bleach them.

So they are only a temporary wardrobe addition.

The Greatest Day Ever!

Today.

Because Derek Jeter, aka the GREATEST HUMAN BEING THAT HAS EVER WALKED THE FACE OF THE EARTH! returned from an injury to once again wear the pinstripes and make all right in the known universe.

My cup runneth over.

We can now wipe this memory from our collective minds.

This Guy

Has it going on, don't you think?

Check it:

Burner cellphone

Fake LA Laker snapback

Purple (and I mean PURPLE) jammies

White Belt

Pair of white gym shorts (take my word for it)

The look of leisure

He roller right up and stood in front of my viewing spot. So I make him famous!

The Metric System

You get a two-fer today.

When SoulSlam was young, grade-school-like, I can remember the teacher in 3rd(?) grade introducing us to the metric system. SoulSlam was not happy. Too confusing. I don't care if it's a base 10 system of measures. I like the fact that a foot is 12 inches and a yard is 36 inches, blah, blah, blah. So SoulSlam asked a simple question:

"Teacher, why do we need to learn the metric system?"

"Because if we don't, we won't be able to participate in the world economy and we will all suffer."

"Uhhhh, we are the world economy. Shouldn't you know that? You're a teacher!"

Needless to say a letter came home addressed to my parents. Still not using the metric system though, are we?

Glad I'm Not You

If you've been round these parts for a spell, you know how I feel about the ATM...

So this AM, SoulSlam needs to make a (quick) withdrawal. I pull up in my SUV and what do I spy:

An older gentleman (55+) with a salt & pepper beard and the look of a guy who may or may not be gainfully employed

Driving a turquoise (or thereabouts) Saturn SL1

Absolutely hanging out of the driver's side window to use this infernal money-giver

I kick myself for not getting a picture. Damn.

Stung!

SoulSlam has had his share of bee stings...TG I'm not allergic. Usually from stepping on one of the swarm in the summer in bare feet. But yesterday...

Throwing BP in the H-E-A-T to the 12U crew. I don't have BP like most. Break into groups, some field, some do T-Work (important and yes, neglected) and get some swings in at plate. Start with a round of toss (front, side, back) and then some live pitching. Boys typically get about 35-40 swings in field, combined with (hopefully) another 30 or so off tee.

So I'm tossing and I feel a pinch on me ring finger. Figure that my wedding ring was tugging on me knuckle hair. Yikes. Take glove off. Now I'm standing behind an L-Screen so I don't really need a glove I guess. But that leaves me cold. I like the glove. So I slip it back on.

YYYYYOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

A bee had snuggled up inside my glove (most likely while it was laying on ground early in practice) and stung the Bee-Jesus out of my finger.

So I killed him. Flat. Dead. Goodbye.

Boys of Summer

School's Out! Like Alice Cooper made famous. Boys are playing ball, hanging out. Working (OSSS) or volunteering (YSSS) to while away the days. They have also commandeered the man-cave for the duration apparently.

SoulSlam is also a "Boy of Summer". I am meticulously surveying the pool for the least hint of sparkle. It is crystal clear, and may I say, perfect.

Picked up our ASG tickets from the guy yesterday. The Men of House of SoulSlam, along with Bro-in-Law Rick (hey Rick!) will be in and out of NYC for four days in July with an extravagant package that the Beautiful Mrs. SoulSlam and SoulSlam's aunt got for us. What a gift!

Here's another gift...a little Fishbone!

A Sea of White

Miami Heat Win. I like LeBron James...and I'll say it; he will be the greatest by the time he's done.

But you Heat fans? You are a sheepish bunch. Maybe it's the heat of the mojitos...but all of you in those damn white shirts? Bad.

Mets - A Primer

I've been here since early 70's. Very little has turned around. Let's see:

1973 - somehow made the WS. Lost

1974-1983 - oh boy. Terrible. We traded Tom Seaver in 1977. That should tell you all.

1983-1985 - The beginning of a great time. Doc and Darryl. Got Hernandez and Carter.

1986 - The Bad Guys Won. Yes.

1987-1988 - thought we'd be there at least one more time. We weren't.

1989-1992 - Everybody leaves. Once again horrific.

1993-1997 - I remember Vince Coleman and Generation K. Nothing else. It was the bottom of the barrel.

1998 - Mike Piazza. I can be proud again.

1999 - team looked like something

2000 - went to WS. Lost to Yankees. Had a good season.

2001 - 9/11 and Mike Piazza's HR!

2002-2005 - mid-pack in NL East. Braves kept kicking our ass. I hate Chipper Jones. And Armando Benitez.

2006 - great season. Too bad Beltran can't hit a curve.

2007-2008  - injuries decimate us all.

2009-2012 - bad. Progressively getting worse.

2013 - might rival 1993.

Do I Strike You As Stupid?

To all marketers, sales people, industry-types, etc:

Putting a RE: at the beginning of your oh so informative e-mails does not make me think that I have conversed with you electronically before. So I won't open that e-mail either.

---

In other doings, I discovered that people from Michigan have a very tough time at ATMs.

June

It's June. June 5th as I type. School almost over. Lots to do.

We had a mini heatwave with temps in 90's last weekend. Now it's around 70. Up and down. Up and down.

Gotta go.

Tournament Blues

So somebody scheduled us to play in a Memorial Day Tournament (12U) after we played a couple weeks earlier in a Mother's Day Tournament. I was against it, but what the hey.

So Saturday in North J is cold and rainy and games get postponed. Which means we now have to play Sunday and Monday. Guess my weekend is booked. Sunday comes and we lose a mercy 15-5 after we were winning 4-1. Second game many hours later is a 4-3 loss. We had bases loaded bottom 6 when the umps decided to call the time limit. Put an L in the books.

Monday we roll up the mountain (the drive was about 45 minutes) for a 10:30AM game against the team that beat us 4-3. This time we lose 4-2. Tournament over.

YSSS stats: 7 plate appearances, 6 official ABs. One hit, one walk, SB, two RBIs, run scored. Consider we only scored 10 runs total, that's some pretty good run production. That's dad and coach saying that.

I did learn some interesting things though. But that is another post some other time.

What To Blog About

I don't know...so let's riff!

My NY Mets are horrific. Absolutely. Thank G for the Miami Marlins and Houston Astros.

TV watching consists of baseball and shows that feature the Knights of the Templar lately.

I did watch three (3) movies lately; Looper, Prometheus and Total Recall. C- on all three.

The pool looks fantastic. Thanks for asking.

I have a case of plantar fasciitis. Hurts.

Memorial Day weekend - 12U Baseball Tournament. Hopefully it doesn't rain and kill it like Mother's Day Tournament.

Don't mean to be cryptic, but if a certain event happens and I don't like the result, I am knocking somebody out.

Repair Complete

Finding that O-Ring was a task...thanks internet. If only you could transport an order instantly instead of waiting for UPS Ground.

So I get the repair done, turn on the pump and we are swirling and filtering. Cleaned out the strainer a couple of times (it's whirlybird season here in North J)...and we are now pretty much crystal clear. I have the day off on Friday so I will vacuum for the first time in 2013.

Then it's off to see Tim McGraw! Report later.

Catastrophic

Picture this:

Spending the Mother's Day weekend in Poconos for a 12U baseball tourney for YSSS. Leaving Friday after work. So I have to set up the filter for automatic on/off. Which I can do because I have powers.
Anyway, go out by pool to lock down trap in the weir (once again, using my powers)...and I look down. My pump trap hss blown a gasket (actually an O-Ring and it is leaking like a leaky pump trap. Not good.

so with little time to engage in finding this part (since the place I bought the pool literally just wnet out of bid-ness) I have to shut down the mining operation filter for the weekend. I am now going to go look for this special piece of equipment. Wish me luck.

Mid-Day Break: Pool Musings

A little diversion needed right now...

So the pool is uncovered with the help of the Sons of SoulSlam. Though a little inattention got me some dirt and leaves in the drink, but I guess that's a learning experience yes? Note to OSSS: put away the iPhone when we work.

Got some new fittings and o-rings for the pump & motor. If you remember last season, we had to replace the motor by the grace of Hurricane Irene (2011). Hurricane Sandy (2012) did no damage per se, but I had to hustle to get pool squared away in light of the oncoming apocolypse, so I was a little hazy, pool water-wise when I opened this year.

Anyway, pool pump and motor readied, I added about 8" on H2O to the oasis. Flipped the switch and PERFECTO! We have filtration!!!!

So Monday night (which was last night if your reading this today)I was outside around 9:30pm adding some pH (3 lbs.) and some shock...let the filter run overnight and we have some clarity brewing. Picked up some more pH to really get this party started.

We sink the ladder next weekend. Open for business then!

The Weather Outside is Frightful

Not watch you call inviting. It's been mostly chilly in North J. We have our moments but for the most part I'm looking for mid-70's this time of year. We're not there.

can't complain though, since our neighbors in the Midwest have had to deal with up to 15 inches of the white stuff the first week of May!

Weather be damned though...pool cover is off. I got the pump running over the weekend. Just need some warmth to get chemicals to activate.

Same But Different

I was cruising in the Tahoe the other day listening to some XM satellite radio...and on the radio came a song called "Mean Streak" by Y&T. This song is perfect for this tale, as it came out in 1983, a slight 30 years ago.

When I was a kid (let's say in the early 70's), in my parent's Impala, the AM (only)radio would be tuned to some station kicking some Glenn Miller or such. And that music was approximately 30 years old or so. I thought..."that's some old shit".

Now I listen to music 30 years old or older. But it's rock. Timeless. Except my boys don't listen to rock. They listen to anything but.

So I guess I'm officially a dinosaur.

Self Control

Whenever I see a really obese person smoking, I think to myself "no self-control".

Obviously you can't walk away from a meal or have a salad, your appearance tells me such. And you can't not smoke. Which, by the way, is very bad for you. That's why the packs all have a skull & crossbones on them.

You are a mess.

The OG Hitting Trainer

I was thinking back to when I was a kid...and I used to swing 100's of swings a day on my Johnny Bench Batter-Up. Sat in my backyard and I would swing at it forever. Loved making contact and seeing how many times I could spin the ball around the metal pole.

I mention this because I think most kids don't swing enough. That's the main reason I built an are in my garage attic for my boys to hit off a tee.

Gotta swing.

Game Today

12U Team playing with YSSS. I am basically the silent hitting coach after last year's hub-bub. I'm there for YSSS first and foremost. If the other kids want to listen, so be it, you'll be better off. If not...

Where The Hell Have I Been!?

Around.

Just kidding. I am busy. I tweet like a madman. I just say no.

I was in Dallas this week for the J-O-B; flew American Airlines. Only 6.5 hours of delays between the two flights. Sweet.

Boys playing ball. We hit the cages today. Bought some wood bats. Awesome.

Watching Matt Harvey tear it up vs. the Twins right now.

Drinking a beer. I have a new deal. I try new beers whenever I can. I avoid the basic Bud-Coors choices. I'm about to crack open a Shiner Blonde. Ummmm, it's pretty good.

My Fantasy Baseball team is 0-1. I am winning this week. I like my team.

Waiting Over

Ummmm...

Fantasy BB

Buckled down and joined the local fantasy baseball league. Run by the guy who runs the FF league I participate in. It's a keeper league but I got lucky with the availability of a certain TRIPLE CROWN WINNER!!

Here's my highlights:

Miguel Cabrera

Bryce Harper

Yoenis Cespides

Ian Desmond

Manny Machado

Melky Cabrera

Matt Cain

Matt Harvey

Josh Johnson

Jeremy Hellickson

Wade Miley

I have some fill-in-the-blanks guys like Angel Pagan, Gordon Beckham, Ike Davis...some prospects like Mike Olt, Jurrickson Profar, Travis d'Arnaud...and I have to pick up a couple guys on waivers to complete a game day roster.

At least early the strategy is young, strong, fast. Yowza.

A Few Days

I've kind of been "off" since the low-scoring extravaganza last Saturday. No baseball to coach until this weekend (maybe) - the weather round these parts has been rough.

OSSS is playing HS Baseball. They moved him to catcher. He has caught in the past. He will start on JV as a frosh...and depending how things shake he may have a shot of at least some V action. All depends on him I think. He's swinging the bat well, working on switch hitting and learning the advanced part of a tough position. He's up to the task.

YSSS is now a 12U demon...and he made the MS team. He's in 6th grade and the team had zero of my old players (8th graders) come out. The team will be tough as I think there are about 1/2 the roster made up of 6th grade. Big field too. So I will watch him to make sure he doesn't injure himself with the longer throws, etc. I think this is good for him.

Champs

Won the Bergen Travel Basketball league (6th Grade National Guard Division) on Saturday night with a 18-15 onslaught. That score is not a typo.

Four (4) quarters of back and forth bad shooting and sloppy passing. A battle of attrition. We won.

So my boys are CHAMPEENS for a second year in a row. 2X2X!

Just One

Lost in semis last night, so it's only one championship game this Saturday.

Missed shots = loss!

Playoff Week

Basketball is winding down, only a few days left.

League #1 - We are in semi-finals...won first round game, playing a pretty tough opponent tonight. Win and we play for league championship on Saturday afternoon (vs. the team we beat last season).

League #2 - only a single elimination round was played. We won that one. Now we play the championship on Saturday evening.

So should we win tonight in semis we play two championship games on Saturday. I'll need all day Sunday to recover. St. Paddy's Day. Can't recover drinking Guiness. I'll skip the corned beef and cabbage (not Irish).

The Taylor Ham Post

This was inspired by something I heard this AM at my local corner store.

After circumnavigating The Sipper at the self service counter and getting my bad self a steaming cup 'o' joe, I ventured to the counter to complete my purchase, along with my daily newspapers (yesssss, I still read newspapers). Say hi to Bob (not his real name). $4.00 to me.

A lady, after checking her losing lottery tickets, places an order:
"Can I have a taylor ham, egg and cheese on...whole wheat bread!

Whole wheat bread? Are you kidding me? Where are you from, Ohio?

---

For all of you that don't live in The J (North or South), you may not know what TAYLOR HAM is. Your loss. Let me try to explain...

Taylor ham is a delicacy, not unlike other delicacies around the world. It can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, late-night snack, 3AM diner run after the bars close, etc.

Taylor Ham is pork roll, but all pork roll is not taylor ham

It is available at every stop along the GSP and NJ TPKE

It's made in NJ. So it has a very small carbon footprint

People who grew up in the J often request it to be shipped to them. My bro-in-law in Indiana gets one for Christmas every year

It is best eaten on either a hard roll or bagel. We have the best of those here as well

People who visit are often encouraged by the natives to partake. Listen to them!

It keeps the multitude from turning vegan. It's that good!

SoulSlam has been dieting for the last 10 weeks or so (down 17!) - so I haven't enjoyed a nice taylor hame and cheese (hold the egg!) in awhile.
I'm getting hungry.

HS Baseball

OSSS is a freshman in HS. Baseball in North J began in earnest on Friday 3/1. He's doing well.

The Airline Rant

Had to travel to the Windy City Thursday, stay a single night, then come home on Friday. Booked a 6;15 flight from ORD to EWR. Since the weather is kind of sketchy this time of year, I assumed I would be delayed.

But airlines (in this case, United) suck. They ask for more money to get on an earlier flight, yet don't come across with the cabbage when the flight you paid hundreds of dollars for is delayed. They stopped the following:

Free baggage check-in

Food on a flight

The ability to give them cold, hard cash for a beer, wine or cocktail

What also chaps me...two things. First, the special lavatory for the 1st class section. I have news...we don't want them back by us either. Second, on the flight home they had DirectTV at all the seats. Sweet. But you have to pay to watch it. Problem is if you didn't pay, then all these freakin' seat monitors show commercials. It's communist I say.

Third Loss

Good team. We lost 56-53. Had a chance with 18 seconds left, down by one to leverage a different outcome. It was not to be as a double dribble call deflated our balloon. Oh well...

So we will be #2 seed in one league. Most likely #1 in other. Here we go.

Final Stretch

Boys travel basketball team has 6 games to go in both leagues for regular season. Play a tough opponent (that we have already beat) tonight.

A "W" here locks us up for #1 seed in main league...we lost last Saturday to a team that always plays us tough. Can't say I was surprised or disappointed. Boys hadn't lost in so long I think they forgot what it is like. Hoping the loss sparks them to finish strong. In second league we are sitting in top spot with a good chance to go undefeated here.

After that we have playoffs. Season is winding down. Once playoffs start it's play until the end (or a loss). Looking to make it two years in a row with a Championship. Send a message to certain parents...

Picture

Too bad SoulSlam is too crazed about baseball. This would make an awesome header!!!

A

My A is working now. So I am a spelling chAmp.

Snow. Finally.

First, the A on my keybord is a little kerflooey. In cse I mis-spell some words.

We got a blizzrd. Full 10-12 inches of snow in our prts of North J. Better than the folks in NE nd LI.

Got a circle drivewy around me house. It's big. So....when the belt on my snowthrower beast is in NG shape, it was manual shovels for all Men of the House of SoulSlam. Also had to do my parents drivewy. About 4.5 hours of fun. I still can't get warm.

The Pizza Dream

Been on a D-I-E-T for about 5 weeks. Based on caloric intake. I don't get silly about the types of calories or foods, just based on reducing calories. So far I've shed 15 lbs. Tough in the winter to stay active after work though. I have to drive the metabolic demon up - to rev the weight loss.

Anyway, during this time I have basically taken to eating a ton of salad, soup and egg whites. I did go off the rails a little on SB Sunday with some awesome sausage and peppers:

SoulSlam's BEST EVER Sausage & Peppers

So back to our story...a couple of things I have pretty much abandoned are burgers and pizza. I think in five weeks I've had a single slice. So last night (more like this morning) I had a dream where I ate 10(!) slices!!! All different. There was Sicilian, some fancy types like vodka sauce (and I don't particularly like vodka sauce), toppings like pepperoni and meatballs, and your plain old "slice". I ate and ate. At the end of the dream I realized I had consumed about 3 days worth of calories. I was jarred awake! All a dream.

It was tasty though. I press on.

Avenged

Only loss was avenged last night. Win by a score of 40-37. If we played some disciplined D maybe we have a bigger margin.

Few days off, then back at it over weekend.

2/3

Of the season complete. Win against Wayne B&G today. They gave us a good game though...

So right now we sit at 19-1 and play the only team to beat us to date tomorrow evening at home.

Gotta finish strong.

Groundhogs

They all did not see their shadow, which apparently means spring is soon. Oh boy.

Saturday 5PM...my 6th grade hoops team goes for W #18 in about 90 minutes, against one loss. We play the team that handed us a loss on Monday night, so some hardcourt payback is our goal.

Spring tryouts for OSSS for his HS team are in 27 days. We hit the cages today to get some quality swings in. Sweet.

YSSS and SoulSlam are on diets. Mine is in week #5, I've lost a little over 15 lbs. YSSS is in week #1 and he's down about 4 already. He's a demon!

It's cold. Too cold.

Might be a snow day on Sunday.

A-Rod is in deep. Way deep.

I had a day off yesterday. Didn't feel like it.

Denial

A-Rod getting ready for his next "exam"

Hoo-boy! Here in the land of SoulSlam we all get to "dogpile on the rabbit" as a bulldog in a turtleneck used to say. Except it's not Bugs Bunny, it's Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez, aka A-Rod, aka "The Minotaur", aka "JUICER".

Giving credit where credit is due, the Miami New Times has broken a story that provides details about the fact that A-Rod was the alleged recipient of PEDs from Dr. Anthony Bosch and his Biogenesis clinic in South Florida. Explosive stuff.

A-Rod has denied it through his PR flacks, and hired a giant of a lawyer just in case I guess.

"The news report about a purported relationship between Alex Rodriguez and Anthony Bosch are not true," Rodriguez said in a statement issued by a publicist. "He was not Mr. Bosch's patient, he was never treated by him and he was never advised by him. The purported documents referenced in the story — at least as they relate to Alex Rodriguez — are not legitimate."

The underlines are mine. Take what you will from them. They are words of obfuscation in my opinion.

Bottom line: A-Rod is done. He will never get in HOF. And I am absolutely 100% sure the Yankees would like to see him disappear. Too bad they still owe him $115MM or so...

I think Sevendust says it best

No Doubt...

...this was a foul!

Nice shorts, guys!

And the Result Is...

Won 56-51. Broke their 1-3-1 trap for the most part. If we had hit all easy lay-ups we might have scored 70-75 points.

A little break and back at it Friday.

Basketball

The Yin and The Yang

That just about sums up my hoops team. Case(s) in point:

Tuesday we travel to a BC town to play the team we beat in Championship game last season as 5th graders. Team is close in record to us. They are up by 12 at halftime, and get as far as 16 point up in 3rd quarter. But we keep playing. And playing. Win by 2. Another fun evening for the Ridgewood faithful. But I will say this; they were best team we played all season. Final score 52-50.

Friday night we play a game that's 1-9. Bad sloppy team. And we played them bad and sloppy. We get W, but we had trouble putting them away. As I explained to the boys; we will end up playing a bad sloppy team in 1st round of any playoffs. And all it takes is a little luck on their side and we are done. That would be un-pretty.

So Sunday is a home game vs. the aforementioned Ridgewood team. We see what we got. Looks like they lost again last night...so that may take some thunder away but we still have to get W to show everyone who the undisputed is.

A Simple Tutorial for Referees in Ringwood

My First Technical

This is not the ref. This guy is pro!

We go to Ringwood for a game. Ringwood has a rep for homer refs.

I guess when the refs blew the first possession call and SoulSlam made them aware they messed up was where it all got started. Then when they blew another possession call (it's pretty easy, team 1, team 2, team 1, team 2) they looked at me funny.

It seemed that a ref (with 80's hair) was trying to get my best player out of the game, with two sketchy fouls, including a charge that wasn't. Then he calls the kid for a travel on a made layup. I don't argue a travel, he probably took 3 steps. But a couple of minutes later one of their players took 5 (if I drew a diagram from where he started and where he finished Lebron James would take 3.5) steps with the ball on his hip and didn't get called I kind of started in...at that point my Asst. Coach asked the ref if he "lived down the street". We get warned.

So game resumes...with about 2 minutes to go we are up 31-28. They inbound, I press with one guard. The kid dribbles with 2 hands for 3 steps and no call!!!! The opposing coach called a T/O...I look at ref and motion with two hands and say he can't do that!

T!!!!

So they get two free throws... ref lines the kid on wrong basket. We say "wrong basket" I think he wanted to call another T. He gets red-faced. Kid makes second shot after air-balling first. Now they get the ball back...but wait, the refs aren't sure where they get ball. I say down under basket in corner. What are they going to do...I'm trying to be helpful.

Ringwood inbounds ball and we immediately get our hands on it too and force a possession....ref #2 looks longingly at 80's ref....wait, wait, wait.... BLUE ball (me). They wanted to give that ball so bad to Ringwood, you should have seen their faces. Priceless. We scored 2 more times to win 35-29.

Terrible refs, not carded (you can tell by patches on striped shirt)...I am having my league rep blacklist these guys.

On Another Note

Got some frantic texts last night from people in our basketball program - "Scoreboard having issues!". Besides everything else I also fix the scoreboard. Somebody's gotta...

I had planned on replacing the basketball nets this morning anyway; the guy who runs basketball (who is a good friend of mine) may be the cheapest human on the planet. At the beginning of the season I told him to go get some nets as the old ones were falling apart. He came back with some cheap-charlies that are falling apart. So i went and got the good stuff. Like it should.

Fixed all that needed to be fixed before games start at 9AM...lots of wide-eyed coaches showing up...no idea what to do or anything else, but hey thanks for the help. I stopped down in the afternoon to check on things after I took the Sons of SoulSlam to the hitting cages for some work. While sitting at our awesome scorer's table (we don't scrimp) the coach on one side (who is more like a head lineup writer, BTW his kid plays hoops for me) came over and the exchange went like this:

HIM: "can I ask you something"
ME: "Sure"
HIM: "how do you get the parents on the side to stop coaching from the sidelines?"
ME: "I thought that's what all of you do!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

I then went on to tell him that at my first practice every season I tell the kids that if they want to listen to mommy & daddy and not me, then they should go play on mommy & daddy's team. Easy.

Oil Change

I sold my baseball van a couple of months back...now driving a 2005 Chevy Tahoe. Needed an oil change today. So we go to Pep Boys, get the goods and get to work. Done like Gomer. Smooth ride. I like.

1/3

Today my travel team played it's 10th game...that's 1/3 of the regular season (in two leagues). Won a big one against a team we haven't played well against in past. Final was 54-31. I love when the opposing coach has no idea what to do, say or think.

AWESOME!

Can't count our chickens though. Gotta keep up the pressure and make a run for the ages. We play three games Monday through Sunday. All winnable. We see what we are.

Rice Therapy

My iPhone is sitting in a bag of Uncle Ben's. I have a fogged up lens on my camera and I'm trying to draw the moisture out.

All my picture look like close-ups of Meryl Streep.

Hoops Jedis

My travel team (6th grade boys) has started the season at 6-0. That matches our wins total from last season (which included a forfeit). Not always pretty. Not always smooth. But they come from behind, they come from all sides.

Face the toughest opponent of early season tonight. Went 1-1 against them last year. I know we can't go undefeated in a 30 game schedule, but I can dream...

Poundage Removal

Remember my newyearsresolution about losing some weight. AKA: Pounds. Baggage. Kilos. Etc?

Week 1 is done. I lost 5 of the aforementioned monstrosities. My willpower is like iron. I am ready for this.

Anyway, a freind of mine at the J-O-B (we'll call him Dan) said he brought low-sodium tuna today. Now I'm no scientist, but doesn't tuna come from the ocean? How the hell do you make that low-sodium?

Tattoo Nightmare

Rex really should have gone on Ink Master for a nicer tat. This looks like some ink you get down on the docks....I don't think Nunez and Peck would have given it high marks.

Is she Tebowing? Weird.

2013 - Holy Crap!

It's 2013. The Mayans were wrong, the doomsday preacher somewhere in the middle of the US was wrong, heck...Nostradamus was wrong.

So now were a full two days in. Time flies, Jedis!

Here's to a good one. Better than last. SoulSlam's resolution(s):

Lose some weight

Exercise

Lighten up

Be the best dad and husband I can

I'm a Simple Man.