10.18.2011

Running Into The Grave

With all the hoopla about The Walking Dead, I thought I'd pontificate about a certain type of individual you may or may not know exists.

I'm talking 'bout the guy (or gal) who is a dedicated runner...but looks like they are going to keel over and die. You know the type; little bit of a hunch, sunken face, wearing a shirt from some ancient 5K they entered a decade ago. Runs 365 days a year - "thanks for the Christmas present, now I gotta go on my run!"

They don't look healthy, they don't look fit, they don't look good. People with chronic anemia have a healthier glow. So SoulSlam has some helpful hints:

  • Eat some meat. Your probably so committed your now a vegetarian, trying to subsist on the protein found in beans. Here's a clue: RED MEAT!
  • Stop wearing spandex shirts. You look dumb.
  • Lose the lime green apparel. It is not a good color for you.
  • Lift a weight. In certain situations, running is a coward's activity.
  • Take a day off. Have a beer.
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