Stop the Elevators

What a strange title for a post. Why would we stop an elevator? Otis works hard to keep them going up and down.

So, Friday, my family and I decide to venture across the river to NYC - take the kids to some adventure. We picked the Empire State Building (ESB). Good choice. I've never been there. Is that strange? Since I don't come from Idaho or Indiana or some other place far and away (I was born in one of the five boroughs that make up NYC and lived in NJ forever, a scant 20 miles from the city), I kind of take many of NY's tourist attractions for granted.

We get to 5th Ave, and the line is wrapping around the block. OK - let's do the combo NY SkyRide and ESB ticket. Few more bucks, no waiting on a sidewalk - I'm in. Take the NY SkyRide exhibit (kind of a virtual copter ride) and we get on the LINE to get to the bank of elevators to go to 80th floor. From their, it's another elevator to 86 and the observation deck. More lines. OK. Get on the lift (that's what they call them in merry ol' England) and up we go. And when we get there, we cannot move. Human gridlock. And it looks like the North view is closed off. And there are a lot of weirded out people waiting...for....for...THE DIVA HERSELF, Ms. Mariah Carey! (Sound the trumpets for the indifference I feel.)

And from the scuttlebutt and rumors and general talk talk going on, she's here to light the ESB in the hues of Pink and Purple (very manly) and she's also late in arriving, and there are a lot of weirded out people up here waiting to catch a glimpse. I'm not a fan, so we just go about our business, look in the directions that us mortals are allowed to view and let's go.

So we leave 86, the guy (who is this guy?) says, you can walk down to 80, it will be quicker. OK. We walk. No problem. Then we get to 80, where we, along with about 250 others are told 'the elevators are stopped for Ms. Carey, who is on her way!' WHAT? You have closed down an elevator system because some skeezer in a too tight mini needs to get to the deck? Did I hear you right? Funny thing is, they must have stopped people from coming up, because that line was about 35 strong. But the line behind us keeps growing, and growing, while we wait and wait. And wait. About an hour. And where is Ms. Carey. Cakin' on make-up in my opinion. Finally, they let the mortals off Planet Chaos - and back to Earth NYC. I hope your album full of watered down, MOR, dull pop music tanks, you B**ch!

Anyway, went to Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. for chow in Times Square. Just like the rubes. Good eats! Life is like a box of chocolates after all!

Blog, Forrest, blog!